Funny Gay Quotes

Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny gay quotes, funny gay sayings, and funny gay proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources.

funny gay quotes

Funny Gay Quotes

Gay men don’t have much in common with lesbians. Douglas Murray

I’m sorry I’m not gay or Jewish, so I don’t have a special interest group of journalists that support me. Vincent Gallo

“My brother is gay and my parents don`t care, as long as he marries a doctor.” – Elayne Boosler

I’ve got quite a big gay following. I played a lesbian prostitute in the TV series ‘Band Of Gold’ but I think my following really grew when I played one in the film ‘Imagine Me & You,’ with Piper Perabo. Lena Headey

“Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns, than holding hands?” – Ernest Gaines

“My cousins gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he`s in the fruit section.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“When I was in the military, they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one.” – Leonard Matlovich

“Let me tell you about gays in the military. I dont want any gay people hanging around me while Im killing kids. I just don`t want to see it.” – Bill Hicks

“I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.” – Emo Philips

“I like my men like I like my coffee. I don’t drink coffee.” – Ellen DeGene

The next time you hear a person say, “It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve,” reply with “It’s homo sapiens not hetero sapiens,” and fly into the night.

I am not bisexual. I am not gay. I have never had sex with men. Matt LeBlanc

A man is relieved and gay when he has put his heart into his work and done his best; but what he has said or done otherwise shall give him no peace. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Anybody can be unhappy. We can all be hurt. You don’t have to be poor to need something or somebody. Rednecks, hippies, misfits – we’re all the same. Gay or straight? So what? It doesn’t matter to me. We have to be concerned about other people, regardless. Willie Nelson

“They say you can`t tell guys are gay just by looking. But if two guys are kissing, you can figure at least one of them is gay.” – Bill Braudis

People have often asked if I’m gay because I don’t go out of my way to spit and scratch and give people attitude. Jason Bateman

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else. Chris Rock

People were saying that David Geffen and I had gotten married and it just blew me away. Not that they thought I was gay, but that they thought I could land a guy that hot. Keanu Reeves

“The sodomy laws have been overturned, so now we can overturn each other.” – Craig Kilborn

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